barstool stories

Gather ’round boys and girls, sit in a tidy little circle while I give a pub review. Now if you’re like me, (and you probably are seeing as how you actually opened this thread) Having to make the Friday night choice of “Where should we go out” can be a major pain. However, this time we decided to go to a little bar called “Rocks”. At first glance you probably wouldn’t give it a second thought. But if you are a smoker, then this is the place to be. Why you ask? Simply because this is an actual SMOKING BAR. Yes I’m shocked as well. When you first open the door the smell of cigars and Camel lights. As you make your way towards the bar it’s almost like going back in time. The lights are turned down low, the juke box softly playing in the background. Behind the bar is a very romantically positioned assortment of various types of booze. And then of course the bartender, A young girl in her 20’s with a lit cigarette pressed between her lips. She races around the bar trying her very best not to slap every old biker who addresses her as “Baby”. Now bare in mind friends that I’m very young, just turned 21. But within the short amount of time I’ve been legal, I’ve never had a problem getting the attention of a female bartender. I’m no Johnny Depp, but I can usually flirt my way into a free shot or two. And yet, I managed to find the one lesbian bartender in Mission Viejo. It wasn’t until my old roommate Jill arrived did I finally get my drink. I light my own smoke and begin to survey the people, certainly was a misfit pack. In one corner you’ll find every depressed trucker and construction worker drinking his paycheck away. Then if you were to shift your gaze to over by the pool table, you would see A group of college students drinking whatever was left of their allowance away. So as more and more of our friends showed up we began to drink more. A few shots, some tasty ale and a nice bit of bourbon. Now this is probably my favorite plus to this bar. After drinking from 6pm to 11pm, I only spent $22.00. The people are friendly and mostly harmless. The only downside to this bar is that every night a DJ shows up and blasts horrible techno. And I don’t know what your opinion on this is, but I don’t wanna hear the “Mortal Combat” theme song while drinking. After the DJ has decided that we have endured all we could take, he blasts a rap song entitled “I’ll beat that b**ch with a hit”. I can only speak for myself here…but how do you beat someone with a “hit”? So I did what any other God fearing man would do, I put 5 bucks in the juke box and forced it to play punk. This didn’t go over to well with the truckers. I got a cold stare from what can only be described as a ZZ top music video. So in conclusion I would definitely recommend this bar to any friend who smokes. And as always, here the scale; (0-10 ten being the most satisfactory)

AFFORDABILITY : 8

ATMOSPHERE: 8

LOCATION 3

CLIENTELE 6

FINAL SCORE: 25